Shrimp and Avocado Salad

My mother owned this white denim, L.A. Gear jean jacket in 1989. It was lined with graffiti print fabric on the inside, had L.A. Gear written in pink, carpet-like script on the back, and had blue jewels instead of buttons. It is the jacket that Coachella dreams of. I would do just about anything to get that jacket back and wear again. (If you want to see the jacket, find it here.)

She was basically the Kim Kardashian West of the 80's. There was the jean jacket, and there was this salad. She served this shrimp and avocado salad IN an avocado shell. This was before avocados were A Thing, when avocado toast was just a twinkle in the eye of all of us Millennial toddlers. This was obviously WAY before lattes in avocado shells, and my mum was on the cutting edge of all of this.

Do you remember your parents' dinner parties growing up? The few stolen hours before you got sent outside or to the basement to play, when you always felt more grown up that you usually did? I remember that. I remember how thrilling that day was, the drama of the cleaning, the meal prepping, the extra fun plans to entertain the children after everyone ate.

And my mum's parties were so elegant. The first dinner party I remember was when I was about five. Picture Arizona in 1990, all bleached pine and glass; silk and sequins. We had this dining room set that had peach chairs, which matched the southwest print on the couch, and we had teal accents to make that peach pop. My mum would fold the linen napkins into beautiful fans, which would stand up on the terra cotta plates on our big glass dining room table. I remember thinking that our table looked like a magazine set.

The first course at this dinner party was vichyssoise obviously, because this was Phoenix, and it was 1990, and what else would you serve besides a cold and delicious soup? The second course was this shrimp salad, and it blew my mind. When my mum brought out the plates with the baby shrimp tucked in with the avocado into their little DIY bowls, I was convinced my mother was a Demi-God, that no other homemaker could rival this level of creativity and innovation.

Of course, there was this other woman, and her name was Betty Crocker, and she did know her shit too. But she didn’t matter to a five year old Bailey Reid, only my mum did, and only my mother would think to put the avocado salad IN the avocado shell.

I thought of it again this week, because there was a heat wave and i couldn’t bring myself to turn my oven on. I revamped this recipe only slightly, to make it just a bit more new millennium than 1989, but if you want to go full 80’s, skip the ring and pop this back in the shell. (Or is the shell more 2017 now, and the ring is like, totally 2013? I don’t know. Forever 21 sells the wardrobe for 1995’s 90210 now, so I don’t really know what’s cool anymore.)

Here’s what you need:

• 1 bag baby shrimp, pre cooked, tails off and shelled. To serve 2 people, I would use ¼ of the bag. (Don’t try to update this, some things are just right as they are)
• Avocado (½ per person)
• ¼ cup Greek yogurt (or mayo, if you want the 80’s version)
• ¼ cup diced cucumber
• ¼ cup diced red onion
• Juice of one lemon
• Salt, pepper, and a sprinkle of Old Bay
  
  

All you do is mix your ingredients in a bowl, and then chill. Plate it how you feel… but be warned that popping it back into the shell may result in a love of bleached pine and stucco walls.

Being part of my parents’ dinner parties as a child are some of the best memories I have. But I couldn't tell you what the rest of that particular meal was. I can only remember this super fresh salad on a plate, how delicious it was, and how beautiful my mum looked in that L.A. Gear jacket.

Baked Salmon

Well hello again. It's been a while since I posted a recipe. That's because I don't have a stove where I live now so I only get a chance to cook anymore when I can mooch off other people's ovens. And as you know, Easter is our Big Thing! So I drove up to Ottawa and my LadyGirls and I got to lay out an Epic Meal for our friends as we love to do every year. We always try to come up with a meal plan that will interest everybody that I have the pleasure to see just once a year. Being the mom, I get to boss the menu. For now. Sooner or later I'll lose that power since Bailey and Kelly are forces in their own right now when it comes to menu planning! But this year, I planned the whole menu around my very special and dear friend Erica. I met her at the dinner last year and our two souls found each other. It was magical. Like two lost souls that have drifted apart for a millennium and had a coming together. I will love her always. A smart, compassionate and fearless woman. If you want to know more about her, you can follow her on Twitter @wickdchiq or read her fabulous blog on health and beauty called Not in My Colour. She is a stylist extraordinaire and I'm blessed to call her my friend! But I digress. I asked Erica if there was anything she'd like to see on the dinner table this year and she said she'd like to see lamb and fish. Done girlfriend!

So onto the menu plan. We were expecting around 20 people this year. We wanted a sort of international flavour. So the appetizer was Hummus and Baba Ghanoush and tasty things built around a sort of Middle Eastern idea. Dinner was buffet style consisting of Harissa boneless leg of lamb roast and baked spicy salmon, Costa Rican rice and beans, scalloped potatoes, tabbouleh, roasted root vegetables and bread. Pretty yummy and easy to prepare. Haha so much so that we were ready for the guests hours before they arrived so my LadyGirls and I got to play hairdo and makeup games and frolic and have some mother/daughter fun! Most of the items on the buffet have the recipes already posted on this blog. But here is the salmon.

Now keep in mind that what I really wanted to do was a whole baked fresh fish. A Caribbean style spicy whole fish. But that was in my dreams since I live two thousand miles away from any ocean. And after an exhaustive search, we had to settle on a piece of salmon from the grocery store. I was ashamed of my life I tell you! I hoped that the other items on the table would make up for the lack of a jazzy fish. But it actually turned out to be a favourite of everybody. And the beauty is that you can use this spice rub on any fish you like.

So let's do this! One hour before you serve the dinner, squeeze the juice of a lime all over a whole fillet of salmon (or whatever fish you're using.) Leave the skin on. Or if you're using a whole fish, squeeze the lime inside the cavity and make slits in the flesh and squeeze the lime all over that.
Let that stand for 30 minutes.
Now for the rub:
1 Tablespoon of medium curry powder
1 Tablespoon of smoked paprika
1 Tablespoon of allspice
1 Tablespoon of ground ginger
1 Tablespoon of salt
1 Tablespoon of freshly ground pepper
1 Teaspoon of cayenne pepper. or 2 if you love it spicy.
Now this will be enough spice mix to keep in a jar and used for other occasions. You only need to use 2 tablespoons or so if it. It's not a blackening seasoning. It's just for flavour. So try it with 2 tablespoons, or use 3 if you have a whole fillet.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and rub the spice mix all over the fish. Bake it for about 30 minutes uncovered. Or grill it if you're lucky enough to have a grill! That would even be better. But we had to bake due to fire laws at Bailey's condo. Give it a squeeze of lime juice and a sprinkle of chopped cilantro or parsley before serving. Easy and delicious. This will probably become your Go To fish rub from now on! Cheers friends!

Frog Legs With Sauce Piquante

Welcome to our 2nd live blog! Today, we make frog legs in honour of our trip to Charleston next week. This recipe is courtesy of David Link and Sean Brock of Mind of a Chef, which is only the best show ever created. It's on Netflix. You should watch.

We'll be starting at 5:00pm- we look forward to you joining us on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook using #liveblogdeadfrog.


Kelly here - my pre-blog questions are what Songza playlist should I use, and what type of beer should I crack? Pressing stuff….Follow my updates on Twitter as well @kellllybeth! 

Great question Kelly! I'm having a PBR. You can follow me at @baileymariereid! Let's do this!

I just started my legs. I've got a bowl full of flour and Old Bay seasoning, which is coating those legs before they go in the pan. They're... legs. Very much bringing back to anatomy.

You got Old Bay?! So smart. I have some dried habanero spice and cajun seasoning, but a few of my legs are still frozen (whoopsie) so I'm busy chopping up onions and celery while they thaw. And I've got some Bayou beats on too! 

Ha! I already had Old Bay! I go through it in tubs. What kind of peppers did you get? I've got bell, jalapeño and some other spicy one. I've also chopped my onion, celery, and garlic!

Have you tried any of the meat yet, Kell? I haven't.

Tried the meat yet?! I'm still chopping. I totally should've prepped my mise en place in advance. I got bell peppers, jalapeños, and Hungarian peppers! 

Okay, finally done chopping. Oil is hot and legs are ready to take a dip. Everybody in the pool…..

Also, i feel like a dolt for saying I'm using frozen legs instead of fresh. But try finding fresh frog legs in Kingston, Ontario! It was bad enough trying to find foie gras that one time…..

I had to get frozen too! There was nothing fresh in Ottawa, either. But! I've fried up my legs. Next, I added about a tablespoon of butter into the hot pan with the frog grease (that is not appetizing... I mean the liquid gold!) Next I added the mirepoix (onions, garlic and celery.) Finally, in went the peppers, and about a half cup of flour. I'm about to add some tomatoes now.

My tester leg fried up a beautiful golden brown but subsequent legs are looking pasty. Cranking my oil temp. For visuals, check in with me at @kellllybeth on twitter or @kellyelizreid on Insta. 

Good call, sister. My roux has my gravy mad thick. I'm ready to simmer after adding some stock! They are going to simmer for about 15-20 min. Time to make some rice. Remember how in Mind Of A Chef they serve it with grits? But then Sean Brock says that's sacrilege, so I'll do rice. How is that oil coming along?

i've got a serious roux going, but I think I burned the bejesus out of my garlic!

Oh no! Burned garlic is the worst. I tried one of my mystery peppers to see what it was like... I'm sweating, my tongue has no sensation, and I'm now terrified of touching my face. But it smells like the bayou in here!

Hahahaha! My mystery Hungarian peppers turned out to be pretty mild but it smells like the Bayou in my kitchen too! Debating dumping half a beer in to augment my stock just for the hell of it…..

That sounds like a fabulous beer. Let's shoutout your brewer? Who did you go with?

Went with Sleeman Honey Brown! A total delight. My stock is in, simmering away on top of my mire, tomatoes, and peppers. What stock did you end up going with? I assume you didn't have frog stock. I used chicken. 

You're right. No frog stock here... although now I know what to do with my bones? I went with a homemade vegetable stock, because that's just what I had on hand. I wonder if fish stock would work too?

Taking this lull while my stock simmers and my rice water boils to add a few photos, in case you haven't been following Twitter or insta! 

Your photos look awesome Kell! My phone seems to be uninterested in syncing. I'll get there, but you can find my finished product at @baileymariereid on Twitter or @baileyreid85 on Insta!

Well, apparently brown rice takes FORTY FIVE MINUTES to cook, so my finished product shot will be up in approximately 41 minutes. 

Bahahahahahhahahahahahah Mummy would be so mad that you didn't prep this all in advance! Bad girls Kelly. PSA- frog bones are LITTLE. Like, LITTLE. So be careful with that, everyone. Go easy on the bourbon until after dinner.


Okay everyone! Thank you so much for joining us for this blog! Next week, we head out on a road trip to Savannah. Travel with us by following #SouthOf49!

Pre-fry. Looking beautiful!

Sacrificial lamb. He looks good!

Ready to go

Simmering the goods.

Ceviche

Welcome to the first LadyGirlsTable Quick Cut!

 

Fresh off the buzz of the summer solstice, I have been craving super light meals lately. And although I actually finally have A/C in my new place, I hate turning it on. So a supper that is quick, cheap, and light sounded perfect to me this weekend.

Ceviche is the answer to everything, probably in life. It’s one of those amazing meals that feels really special, but isn’t very hard to prepare. And it’s sooooo pretty- perfect for entertaining. It can easily just be a light appetizer, or you can serve larger portions to make a pescatarian-friendly meal. Add some corn chips/tostadas/tequila, and you’ve got yourself a party!

You’ll need:

·         Light ocean fish, in 1-inch pieces (I used tilapia- super inexpensive and sustainable, but ask your fish monger what the freshest offering is. You definitely want FRESH fish for this)

·         Juice of lemons, limes, other citrus (I used 4 limes, 1 lemon, and 1 grapefruit)

·         Watermelon, cubed (we’re going to be jazzy!)

·         Feta, crumbled (because watermelon and feta are all the rage now)

·         ¼ finely diced red onion

·         1 cubed avocado

·         Chopped cilantro

·         Salt & pepper

·         Radishes and cilantro sprouts for garnish

Start by covering the fish in a bowl with the citrus juice and marinate from 20-40 minutes in the fridge. This “cooks” the fish. Meanwhile, chop your other bits. Drain the majority of the citrus juice from the bowl. Mix all ingredients and season. Plate. Garnish.

Could it be easier? Obviously not. Enjoy! (Also, please excuse the lighting in my little kitchen- fluorescent lights make everything a bit sad.)

 

 

Tequila Lime Shrimp with Mint

There is an obsession about “easy” food. Everyone wants convenience (which is why we buy meals in partitioned plastic) and of course, they would ideally like it to be healthy too. But it isn’t. Healthy food takes time; there is no drive-thru for balanced meals without processing, preservatives, and enough sugar to permanently damage your pancreas. Of course, generally convenience wins over health, despite our brains and bodies knowing better.

If you own a food television network, you are aware of this dichotomy.  You then might be likely to fill your network slots with either food competition shows, or shows featuring home cooking which promises to offer food in thirty minutes or less. Today I watched an episode with a woman who lives on a ranch and has a best friend named “Hyacinth”.  She was going on a road trip with her two daughters, and therefore her husband couldn’t be trusted to then feed their other two children without supervision. She made a bulk amount of breakfast burritos, with 24 (TWENTY-FOUR!) eggs, cream, bacon AND sausage, cheese, and a pepper or two. She also pre-grated cheese for the burritos, lest someone have to shred cheese all by themselves. Then she says, “I also got whole wheat tortillas, so it’s a little healthier!” OH WELL THEN.

 

Not trusting her husband to then assay said burritos might be served hot, rather than directly from the fridge, she wrote instructions on how to heat up the burritos on a post-it note, and then stuck it ON the Tupperware. Guess what it said? “Put eggs in the microwave. Heat until hot. Warm tortilla in the microwave. Warm. Wrap with cheese and salsa.” She also made pasta with sauce for her husband to serve for dinner. These also received heating instructions, stuck to the container. Somewhat more complex, these said, “Top pasta with sauce. Heat for two minutes (or until hot.)” Two steps, one post-it. As soon as she got in her big, red, shiny pickup, guess what her husband served their boys? The handmade ice cream sandwiches she had prepared for dessert. Granted, those did not come with instructions so were considerably less intimidating, likely.

This is not to say that easy food cannot be healthy- it can be. It can even be flavourful! Take for example the tequila-lime shrimp I made for my sister’s birthday last weekend. This was so easy, and they were a huge hit. (Much more of a hit than the boozy caipirinhas  I made.)

Start with a pound of peeled, raw shrimp. Marinate them in a bar or a bowl with a quarter cup of olive oil, two teaspoons (or more) of tequila, juice of two limes, a hefty scoop of cumin, a hefty scoop of cayenne, and some minced/pureed garlic. Let them marinate for 1-4 hours, then put them on skewers. Grill for three minutes a side, and then top with chiffonaded fresh mint. Serve hot. Never microwave.  Also, never trust someone named “Hyacinth”.

Let us know your favourite healthy and easy dish in comments below!

Peruvian Chowder

Getting sick of my soup recipes yet? Well you won't be when you try this one. It's a hearty and healthy fall harvest recipe. Found it on the Food and Wine site and liked the idea of the flavours. Always, always trying to use as much veg as I can from that Farm Share Project, (As in Please let this project end very soon because I can't take it anymore!) And it's sort of a kitchen sink recipe in that you can modify it however you like. The base flavour is Peruvian from what I guess. And I'm pretty sure they'd be thrilled to let us modify it to suit whatever we have on hand and enjoy the flavours of their country. Easy to convert this one to vegetarian too if you like. I'll list the recipe and comment as I go along.

You'll need:
Vegetable or Canola oil - about 3 tablespoons
1 pound of unpeeled raw shrimp
Salt and I'll explain
1 finely chopped onion
1/4 tsp cayenne powder
1/2 tsp paprika (I used smoked because I'm so jazzy)
1/4 tsp cumin
Dash of Tabasco sauce
That's your base. You can improvise from here
1 butternut squash cut into 1/2 inch pieces. But I think pumpkin would work here too if that's what you have. Tip on how to keep all your 10 fingers when cutting up a butternut squash - put it in the microwave for a minute or two first to soften it up. Or better still, spend an extra buck and buy the already peeled and cut at the grocery store.
1/2 head of green cabbage chopped. I didn't use cabbage. I used chard since I like that more. So any green you like in other words.
2 potatoes peeled and cut into 1/2 in chunks
4 ears of halved corn on the cob. But they admit this is a messy business, so I used a can of corn unless you enjoy being covered in chowder from head to toe
2 quarts of water. Okay no. I didn't go for this. And that explains the salt. I just don't cook with water, but I get it that some people do. So you can use chicken broth or vegetable broth. I used vegetable and just enough to cover the vegetables. A box. And add water if needed to cover.
1 1/2 cups of cream or half and half.
That's the recipe. But here's what I think - Add any vegetable you like or even a can of
any beans you like. Or omit anything you don't like. This is your baby. The flavour base will get you to where you need to be.

And here is what I loved the very most about this recipe. They tell you to heat your oil (I say pretty low heat) and saute your shrimp with the shells on. And here is the magic - They tell you to leave the shells on because that will flavour your cooking oil. WTF? Kitchen secrets like that are just what you need to bring your recipes up to magical level! So I had respect and that's what made me decide to try this one. So do that and once they are pink, remove from the oil and add the onion, spices and Tabasco and saute until your onions are soft and transparent.

Add all of your vegetables and liquid and cover and simmer for about half an hour. Peel your shrimp and remove the tails when they're cool enough to handle. After half an hour, taste for salt and add as needed. Put some pepper in too if you like. Add the cream and bring it up to a simmer for about ten minutes and add your shrimp back in. Simmer for about two more minutes and serve. Can there be anything easier than that? Chowder on a damp and cold day can literally Rock Your World! Enjoy friends.

Blue Cheese Dip with Firecracker Shrimp

Notice how I didn't give the shrimp top billing on this recipe? The shrimp are awesome, but you could actually jar and sell, and in fact, get rich off this blue cheese dip. Consider it to be your next flavour vessel for anything on the planet that can be dipped. I was searching for shrimp recipes because I found a good sale on them, and loaded up. And I found a Firecracker Shrimp recipe that caught my eye.(from Andrew Zimmern) And just as a side note, they suggested a blue cheese dip. The shrimp were blah, so I've modified the recipe. But the blue cheese dip was heaven! So let's plan up the best snack there ever was.

You'll need for the dip:
1/3 cup mayonnaise
1/3 cup sour cream
1 tablespoon of finely chopped dill
3 tablespoons of red wine vinegar
1 tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce
$4.00 worth of good quality blue cheese, So a small chunk of it. I don't know how to measure cheese!

And for the shrimp:
1 egg beaten
1/2 cup buttermilk
1 finely chopped jalapeno pepper
1/4 teaspoon of cayenne powder
1 bag of frozen shrimp, shelled, deveined and thawed
1 cup of cornstarch (or more. I needed more.)
Vegetable oil for frying
Salt and pepper to season
1/4 cup of hot sauce (I used Frank's)
1/4 cup of melted butter
Celery to serve as a side. Or Carrots. Or whatever you like. Or an assortment of veggies.

To make the dip, put everything into the food processor and blend it up. The End.

For the shrimp, beat the egg, and whisk in the buttermilk, jalapeno and cayenne and add the shrimp and cover and refrigerate for an hour at least.

Heat 2 inches of oil to 375 degrees. Or since I don't own a thermometer, I heated the oil on med-hi heat until a bit of the corn starch thrown in the pot showed a boiling action.

Melt the butter and mix in the hot sauce in a separate saucepan .

Take the shrimp with your tongs and dredge in the corn starch and fry in the oil for a couple of minutes. It goes really fast. Remove from the oil and set to paper towels to drain. Salt it and when they're all fried, add to the hot sauce and flip it around for a few seconds and serve. Seems like no trouble to make at all. And it wasn't! Easy and Delish. Like I like! Enjoy friends.

Shrimp Risotto

Oh hey friends, anybody up for taking a cruise through flavour town with me? It's a dreary, rainy and cold Friday night here in Canada, and I wanted some comfort food after a long and stressful week at work. In fact I came straight in the door and did not detour up to put my jammies on as I always do on Fridays. Today, I went straight to the liquor rack and hauled off a bottle of vodka. So yes. That kind of a week! And that By God cocktail relaxed me almost to the point where I was thinking of just saying "Screw cooking" and ordering a pizza. But then I remembered that cooking relaxes me and helps me wind down and wash away the work week. But what to make? I didn't want to stop on the way home to get supplies in the pouring rain, so I had to forage to see what I had on hand. Now I will just tell you that you can take this recipe up to a higher level if you have fresh shrimp and parsley and homemade stock. But I didn't. So we'll go with what I had on hand, and it was still pretty off the charts delish!

We're going to make two separate dishes and marry them into one dish because that's what I like to do. You can serve this with a side of roasted asparagus or a nice, fresh Spring salad.

You'll need:
for the risotto,
1 cup of Arborio rice (this will feed 3 -4 people)
1/2 cup of white wine
1 box of chicken broth (or 4 -5 cups of homemade stock)
1 finely chopped onion
1/4 cup butter
3 tablespoons of olive oil
1/2 cup of grated parmesan (and freshly grated is best)
lots of freshly ground pepper and a bit of salt if you use homemade stock, but no salt at all if you use store bought

for the shrimp:
4-5 Jumbo shrimp per person
3 cloves finely chopped garlic
1 finely chopped shallot
juice and zest of a lemon
1 cup white wine
1/4 cup butter
3 tablespoons of olive oil
and chopped fresh parsley for the garnish

Now if you've never made risotto before, you will be a slave to your stove for the next 45 minutes. So if you're of middle age like me, you'd best empty your bladder and tend to your emails before you begin. Heat up a medium sized, heavy bottom pot on medium heat and melt the olive oil and butter. On another burner, heat up your broth just till it's steaming and reduce the heat to low. Add the onion to the olive oil and butter and just let it soften for about 8 minutes. Don't let it crisp. Reduce your heat if need be. Add your rice once the onion is soft. Stir it around for about 5 minutes and add the wine. Let that simmer off for about 3 or 4 minutes and now here we go - add a ladle full of your warm broth to the rice and keep stirring with a wooden spoon until the liquid has evaporated. Then add another ladle full of broth. And this is what you'll do for the next 45 minutes. Constant stirring and don't add more liquid until the last one has evaporated. As you go along, the rice will take on a creamy texture, but don't be fooled by that. Keep tasting a bite of rice after about 35 minutes and it should have a firm bite, but by no means be crunchy.

Also, before you begin the risotto, prepare everything for your shrimp so you can be stirring your rice all the while and sautéing up your shrimp on the burner next door. Sort of like an octopus. About 30 minutes after you start your rice, sauté the shallot in the butter and garlic for about 3 minutes and add the garlic. Keep the heat pretty low so your garlic doesn't burn. After only about a minute, add the wine and let it simmer off for 3 or 4 minutes and add the lemon zest and juice and shrimp. Simmer the shrimp for about 3 minutes per side until they're pink and cooked and remove them and set aside. Let the sauce keep on simmering until your rice is no longer crunchy. Then add the contents of your shrimp pan into your risotto and just keep on stirring until the liquid is evaporated. This is the nuptials. You're marrying the flavours at this step, and this is what makes you an amazing cook and people cannot figure out why!

Remove the rice from the heat and stir in your Parmesan and some freshly ground pepper. Once the cheese has melted, gently fold in your shrimp. Plate it and garnish with chopped parsley, a sprinkle more of parmesan and some ground pepper. And that's it! A fresh, Spring take on an old favourite!

Steamed Mussels

I had another absolutely fabulous class this weekend at C’est Bon! And I was far more tolerant of my classmates this weekend. I even helped that poor imbecile (who wanted to make a cheese sauce with brie last week) with her hollandaise sauce, which she kept spooning water into, instead of clarified butter.

It was Seafood Day, and one of the dishes we made was mussels. I don’t know about you, but I LOVE mussels. And they are dead easy to make. Seriously. So easy that if you like them, (and if you don’t, I suggest trying them again) you should feel empowered to invite people over for Friday night dinners in the future. As a meal, it takes all of 20 minutes to make, and you could throw a salad or some pasta with it, and it’s a delicious, wonderful meal to serve for a fun Friday night in. Maybe, you’re like one of my teachers, who told us he often grabs a bag of French fries from the chip wagon, a few beers, and cooks up some mussels with his friends. (He also said that sometimes his friends come over and they drink beer, shuck, and then eat raw oysters on a Friday night. This basically made me wonder how I could convince this man to propose marriage to me. He is the man for me, I’m sure of it.)

Check out my mussels! #lamejoke

While I plot ways to win this man’s heart, I’ll share this delightful little recipe, inspired by a French Friday Night with you.

Start with a bag of mussels, plus a bottle of beer (keep in mind, if you use a bitter beer, your sauce will be bitter. I used an IPA, and I would recommend a sweeter beer instead,) little bit of butter, a few cloves of garlic, and some fresh parsley. You will also want cream, a baguette or frites (yum), and probably couple extra beers or wine.

You can make this recipe using shallots and white wine too, in place of the garlic and beer, as we did on class on Saturday. But I thought beer might be a fun take on the classic Belgian dish, moules et frites avec bière.

Don’t be afraid of your mussels. All you need to do is rinse them thoroughly and give them a little brush under running water. Do not soak them in tap water, nor should you try to create a habitat for your mussels by adding sea salt to tap water. That’s silly. Just keep them in the fridge and try to cook them the day you get them. Let them have air. They’ll suffocate if you keep them in a sealed plastic bag, and this will be a very smelly death camp in your fridge. If they are open when you rinse them, give them a tap on your counter. If they don’t close, they’re not good, and you should throw them out. Also discard any that don’t open during the cooking process. (This makes perfect sense on several levels, but mostly on a table manners level. Very few meals allow you to crack into shelled animals and eat their flesh in a socially acceptable way.)

In a pot with a lid, big enough for your mussels, melt a little butter. Sauté your minced garlic in this until you smell it, but be careful not to let it burn. Now add your mussels, with enough beer to almost cover them, and get your heat up in there. You are steaming them, so you need the liquid to be simmering. Season with salt and pepper, place your lid on the pot and give it a shake every now and then. This won’t take long, once they’re open and unattached from one side, they’re done. Remove mussels from the broth, and then bring that up to a simmer. Add a splash of cream and check your seasoning.

Serve over the mussels with bread. Easy, classic, and delicious. Enjoy!

Lobster Bisque

I received the best Christmas present this year- my dad got me six cooking classes at C’est Bon cooking school, and it’s just WONDERFUL. The chef trained in France, and the other chef who helps her trained in Switzerland. They speak French, and I basically spend every Saturday morning now living out my fantasy life as Sabrina, and immerse myself in their knowledge for several hours. 

Finished product, with a melting quenelle. 

My first stop on the way home from the class is the grocery store, so I can utilize all my new skills. I practice with my knives when I get home, I hang on every word the chef says, and I’m quite certain that if I ever left the charity world, I’d put myself in the Cordon Bleu as quickly as I could.

That all being said, I am in a basic class, which is a requirement of the school. My level of ego can only handle this because it makes it seem even more SERIOUS, because you must have the right techniques before going any further with your cooking. So, I gracefully accept my position in the basic class and remember everything they say. I often feel like the teacher’s pet too, because I know about the things they teach us much more than anyone else. I am sure everyone else finds me completely obnoxious, which is, I suppose, my burden to bear.

Some others in the class have a fair level of knowledge too, but others do not. One particular girl in the class seems to have an issue with reflecting on what she’s about to say before she says it. Thusly, she asks idiotic questions regularly.

Now, be forewarned, when I told my best friend about these idiotic questions she said I was being elitist. Let me give you an example of the questions, and we'll decide together if she is an idiot or I am an elitist.

Obviously a dinner this fancy needs an appropriate table.

Today, we started with a béchamel. We know that this requires beginning with a roux, which requires equal parts flour to butter to start. After confirming this several times, she then asked if you use the equal amount of milk as to butter and flour. This is a ridiculous question, because how would you have a bloody sauce if you only used a few tablespoons of milk? Then, she asked if you could make a cheese sauce using BRIE. Are you kidding me?! What kind of tomfoolery is that? What, you’re going to peel the brie? Or are you going to throw in that rind too and expect it to melt? What kind of person destroys a perfectly gorgeous brie by snarking it down into a cheese sauce? Brie is a star- she will allow others in bit parts, but let's not get it twisted. She is not meant to become a background flavour for your broccoli.

We also made pastry today in the class, which was wonderful; but of course she felt the need to ask another stupid question about that. This time however, in a rare moment of self-awareness, she pre-empted her question with, “This may be a stupid question, but…”

WELL, WHY STOP NOW.

Then she asked if the recipe for the pastry dough would be the same for any other kind of tart. As in, "We used this pastry for this quiche, but could you use it for, say, a tart? Or maybe a pie?" OBVIOUSLY. The instructor of the class has patience in epic proportions.

But, despite her occasional interjections, we do make some amazing recipes. And I do learn something new as far as technique every week. Last week, we made an incredible mushroom soup, and, instead of adding our cream to the soup, we made it into whipped cream and topped the soup with a quenelle     of it! What joy that gave me! You know how I adore a jazzy serving opportunity, and that really would highlight my skills.

I came home and made a lobster bisque that night, and of course topped my soup with a quenelle too! Making a quenelle is not as easy as you think. I watched several YouTube tutorials on it, and next time I paint my nails, maybe I'll even make a tutorial too. (But I'm not doing home videos without painted nails, that would just be embarrassing.)

Straining the stock

So here's the recipe for a lobster bisque, in case you want to be fancy one day. Start with 2 lobsters, live or not. I wanted so badly to use live lobsters, and I braced myself for the homicide of the Homarus americanus in my very own kitchen. "A real chef," I told myself, "would use live lobsters. They would never value the life of a crustacean over the necessary freshness of flavour. A real chef would bless the live lobster, they would use every portion of meat for the soup, they would boil the shell into stock, they would HONOUR the spirit of that little homard."

But, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. The potential of self-loathing and sobbing in the powder room for twenty minutes while my guests were here was too great a chance to take. Instead, I used two fresh lobster tails. You will also need cream, celery, carrots, fish broth (if you can find it, otherwise use vegetable or chicken stock- but we will make our own fish broth too) garlic, sherry, tomato paste, chopped tarragon, flour and butter.

Start by cooking your lobster meat- please don't overcook it. Overcooked lobster meat is akin to eating a leather boot. Or a bicycle tire, as the brilliant Albert Burneko would say.  If you are going to use live lobster, I admire you. You can find lots of ways to kill them humanely before they go in the big pot of water beforehand (the general Internet consensus seems to be to drive a knife into the spot behind their heads,) but there is also a movement out there that says because they lack a cerebral cortex (or something) they can't actually feel themselves boiling to death. For me, I had a serious fear of one getting loose into my house and what kind of shenanigans might happen if my dog and I had to chase down a live lobster.

Well isn't that a lovely salad! 

Anyway. You can steam it until the shells just barely turn red, then take it off the heat. Remove the meat from the shell. Now, place the shells in water and simmer for as long as you possibly can to create a stock of sorts. Add whatever aromatics you have kicking around, like a bay leaf or an onion or fish heads. Or whatever.

Now, let's make a roux. Start with equal parts butter and flour (two tablespoons of each works well) and cook in your pot until it smells like cookies baking. (I learned that in my class, yay!) It will look a bit golden, (cook with all your senses, Chef would say) and this is because no one wants their bisque to taste like raw flour. Now add some minced garlic, chopped carrots and celery and sauté until they look translucent. Deglaze your pan with a splash of sherry and let that reduce by half. Now, add your fish stock, plus any extra stock you need to beef up your soup a little. Stir with a healthy amount of tomato paste. At this point, you should have a lovely orange-ish creamy looking type of soup with some veg in it. Simmer for 40 minutes until everything is soft. Then puree.

At this point, your lobster meat has likely cooled. You are going to add it at the last minute before you serve, but just enough to heat it through. Not enough to start cooking it again. You can add a splash of cream to your soup, but you are also going to make it into whipped cream, because your guests need to know this is not some proletariat bisque. This is some next level shit, your bisque is BOURGEOISIE. And you are going to top that soup with a goddamn quenelle, and people are going to know what's up. Sure, they will backstab you. They will say, "Oh, that Bailey. She thinks she's so good because tops her soups all jazzy like." And you know what? They will be right. Because you know you're that good.

(Apparently the theme of today's blog is my unmanageable ego.)

Make your whipped cream. Turn this into a quenelle by giving it three quick rolls between two spoons. There is a wrist action involved- I can't describe this very well. Therefore, I promise to make you a quenelle video soon, and in the meantime, there's this thing called YouTube you can check out.

There you have it. Serve with some nice bread and a salad. (Editor's Note: You are probably not as lucky to have gorgeous, fresh, homemade bread at your dinner table, such as I was. My lovely dinner companion Jenny brought bread, straight out of the oven to this dinner. It was still warm, and it was incredible. This is a late addition because I didn't want to brag.) 

As you enjoy your bisque, think about how awesome you are.