Lavender Rosewater Syrup

How wonderful is it to have people over? I don’t know about you, but I absolutely love hosting a get-together. I like a nice girls-only party (we call it Liz Taylor Night in these parts) where you can watch Mean Girls on loop and drink gin and gossip.

I also love a good mixed party, which as I’m typing is reminding me of my very first mixed party. I was about 13, and it was sooo exciting because obvs my crush was going to be at the party and I spent endless hours daydreaming about the perfect moment where he would ask me to dance and I would gaze into his big brown eyes and we would be 2gether4Ever. (I can’t even hashtag that because in my day they didn’t have hashtags. You only had your Hilroy notebook to doodle on and practice your signature with his last name. Shit was real back then.)

What actually happened at the mixed party was the boys breakdanced to Rapper’s Delight, and us ladies ate ketchup chips and applied Bubblegum Bonne Bell.  My crush DID actually speak to me at one point, to ask me if I had heard the new K-Ci & JoJo song and when I said no, HE LET ME BORROW HIS CD. It was AMAZING y’all. I listened to “All My Life” on permanent play for the weekend and at the next school dance he asked me to dance to it and we were like, totally a thing, and it was beautiful until he got a crush on my best friend and I got a crush on his best friend and it all fell apart. One day he went to McDonald’s for lunch without inviting me and We. Were. Over.

Ahh, youth.

Anyway. Having parties is fun. It’s mostly fun because as I mentioned in our 5 à 7 post, it means you don’t have to leave your house. But other people have to leave theirs and while some strange people on this earth enjoy doing that, most people don’t.  Especially in Canada. Especially in the dead of winter. So, you should probably acknowledge people did such a thing by giving them a little treat for coming.

This is an easy recipe for simple syrup, elevated with aromatics like lavender and rosewater. It takes all of five minutes to make, but it makes your guests feel special.

Start with 1 part of water to 2 parts of sugar in a pot. Heat until the sugar dissolves and remove from heat (we aren’t making a caramel here). Add a tablespoon of lavender and a teaspoon of rosewater to the syrup and mix. Let the lavender “steep” for a few minutes before you pour (and strain if you want the lavender bits gone) into individual jars (you can easily get these at the Dollar Store) or you can pour larger amounts into mason jars.

Feel free to be creative with your aromatics! I also made one with cinnamon, star anise, maple, and some juniper berries. You could try something fresher with citrus and cloves, or get that traditional tonic flavour with lemongrass.

Add a tablespoon of the syrup to a gin and soda, vodka soda, or make your tee-totalling guests feel special with mocktails! With a pretty ribbon and label on the jars, these little giveaways are just one more thing that will set you apart as a super-star host. How-to video below!

Ed.’s Note: The YouTube playlist in the creation of this blog was the best ever.

200th Blog! #Tartoff2015

Hello Friends!

We wanted to do something a little bit different for our 200th blog, so we made a video blog. (We know the editing is a little cheesy- give us some slack though, it's our first time!)

Individual recipes to come soon!

We're looking forward to another 200 blogs with you- thank you for all your support!

-Bailey, Kelly, and Diane

Ed.'s note: We hoped the video would embed here, but here's the link! 

Crème Brûlée

Oh dear. I've been downright neglectful of the blog. I haven't posted in far too long. So here's yet another terribly difficult dessert for all you masochists out there….(Just kidding! It's deceptively simple! Banana cream pie, this ain't).

To make creme brûlée, it's going to be pretty useful to have a kitchen torch. I got one for Christmas which is was propelled me forward on this journey. It's possible to do with a broiler as well, but it's trickier. Invest in a kitchen torch, because like, why wouldn't you want to feel like a badass welder?

Here's what you need (and since my first attempt failed and I ended up having to make this twice, I recommend buying double just in case):
- 6 to 10 egg yolks. It varies because if you use organic eggs, like I did, the yolks are much smaller and you'll need more. I used six the first time and it was trouble. The next time I used 8 and it was great. 10? I think it would just be that much richer.
- 2.5 cups of heavy cream. I used whipping cream.
- Half a cup of white sugar
- Teaspoon vanilla
- Other seasonings/liqueur to taste. For instance, I added a splash of spiced rum, some star anise, and some cardamom.

Start by simmering your cream over medium heat. This is when I threw in the anise and the cardamom pods, and almost let it steep like a tea. Alton Brown says that you can scrape in a vanilla bean, but chance I would find a vanilla bean in this one horse town! Grand mariner, kahlua, frangelico….all of these would be delicious.

While it's simmering, whisk your egg yolks and sugar together. This is called creaming. Whisk quite a bit until it turns light and fluffy. By now, your cream should be just below a boil. Don't let it reach a full boil; remove it from the heat. Scoop out any seed pods.

Verrrrrry verrrrrrrrrrrry slowwwwly add a drizzle of hot cream into your eggs, whisking all the while. You do this very slowly so that the eggs don't scramble. Add another ladle-ful and keep whisking. When the egg mixture is basically the same temp as the cream, you can reverse the pouring and pour the egg/cream into the just-cream. Keep whisking. You'll probably get some froth and foam on top of the custard (that's what it is now) at this point. Scoop it off if you can with a spoon.

Heat your oven to 375. In a roasting pan or deep casserole pan, set your ramekins on a wet kitchen cloth (this is so that they don't slip around). Pour the custard into the ramekins, until about a little over halfway full. Next, pour hot water all around the sides of the ramekins like a bath. The hot water should come about halfway up the ramekins. Shove it all in the oven and walk away for about 30-40 mins. They're done when they jiggle a little in the middle: Jello jiggle, not liquid jiggle. Pull the roasting pan out and let them cool for 15 mins in the water bath. Then move them to the fridge for the next few hours.

When ready to serve, sprinkle the top with a generous coating of white sugar. Turn your torch on and make small circles over the ramekin to melt, turning occasionally to let the molten sugar coat the whole surface. It'll smell like burning but don't be afraid. Let sugar harden for just a moment or two before serving. How do you know you've succeeded? Knock on the top with a spoon. You should hear a tap-tap sound before a delicious crack!

Perfect! 

Burrata with Honey-Balsamic Raspberries and Black Pepper

Well, in case you haven’t been in a store for the last three weeks, Christmas is just around the corner. Not that I want to jump on the Christmas bandwagon yet (or ever), but it’s getting to be that time where people start hosting holiday gatherings and such. As is tradition, when you are invited to someone’s home, you are often expected to bring something as well. No sense in wasting time with the passive aggressive “Oh don’t bring a thing!” Everyone knows that’s bullshit. So I am going to save you the trouble of fretting about what to bring.

 

This is a fresh, festive, and easy dish that is sort of a Baked Brie 2.0. Not that I have anything against baked brie, I love it. But when Heather Reisman is making half her profits on ceramic dishes in jewel tones, specifically for baking said brie, I feel it’s perhaps a little over done.

So here’s a new suggestion from Food52, using burrata. I first became captivated with burrata when I was looking up how to make my own cheese. I wanted to make it, but you know how I feel about recipes requiring me to use formal measurements. (If you’re interested in a DIY project involving thermometers and something called “Polly-O mozzarella curd, check it out here.) I thought I might have to shelve my burrata fascination, until my local Loblaws transformed themselves from a basic grocery store to a Gourmet Food Shop, with all the conveniences of being located in a strip mall. So now I have a delightful oyster bar, olive bar, and fromagerie just a few blocks away.

Start by making a balsamic reduction. Pour about a half-cup of balsamic into a little pot or pan. Add 1 tbsp of honey and let simmer until it reduces by half and has the viscosity of syrup. Set aside.

Slice your burrata, which is practically a religious experience (and at $13.00 per ball, it deserves a little reverie), and plate. Add fresh raspberries, and drizzle with balsamic reduction. A few cracks of black pepper takes it to a new level. (Along the lines of baked brie, I think people are kind of over sea salt or fleur de sel on their desserts. Black pepper is just as easy but much more surprising. It’s almost whimsical.)

I think this dish is just that little bit extra for a holiday gathering. Enjoy!

PS- For more burrata recipes, and an entirely enjoyable aesthetic blog experience, check out Sunday Suppers.

Rosewater Marshmallows

Occasionally, disaster befalls us in the kitchen. For me, less occasionally than most, because I am a master chef and an insane perfectionist with a profound fear of failure. Also, I am aware of my weaknesses, (lack of attention to detail, deep desire for instant gratification, inability to measure things exactly) and so I avoid things I will likely fail at (read: baking).  But every now and then, Pinterest or some other source of food porn sucks me in, and I tempt fate by trying something new, something uncharted, and usually, something completely frivolous.

Nothing is more frivolous than a marshmallow. It is so frivolous, in fact, that it has become a symbol for frivolity. It is a post-modern adaptation of itself. Structure-less, colourless, flavourless unless burned to shit by open flames and jammed between graham wafer and chocolate, the marshmallow is so humble it is existence-less, nearly.

There is an important thing to note here, however. Pinterest is the Internet’s narcissism widget-producing machine; the online version of parents who tell their tone-deaf child that they have a beautiful voice pre-American Idol attempt. Nothing is humble on Pinterest. Just check out “Fall Décor” and find glitter-dipped pumpkins, raffia-wrapped pillar candles, and DIY pumpkin-spice/all natural/health increasing/super sexy massage oil. Pinterest is hell bent on us gluing, gemming, and jazzing our way to craft-nirvana.

So, you can understand why, when I came across a recipe for Champagne-Rosewater marshmallows, I felt compelled to try. I found a copy of an old Bon Appetit, and found their recipe as well. A quick scan of the recipe revealed very little baking (I must admit, at this stage, I missed the candy thermometer requirement). I was tricked, you see. I looked at the beautiful picture, the rose petals scattered about, (what is it with women and scattered rose petals? Why does this woo us so?) and I thought to myself, “Why, I like champagne. I like rosewater. I have both in the house. I can do this,” and I heard my mother’s voice in the back of my head saying, “Yes, sweetie. You CAN do anything you try!” (Luckily, my family has at least saved me from any kind of singing-related national chagrin.)

Now, as I said, I am well aware of my personal weaknesses, and the main issue I have with baking is not reading the whole recipe first. My mother has told me to do this approximately 28,798,374 times in my life, but that old instant gratification thing tends to get me. Not this time though! This time I read the whole recipe. Seriously, I did. Just a bit quickly, is all. But I got myself a candy thermometer, and some gelatin, and I decide to mallow the shit out of those marshes.

Ingredients from Bon Appetit:

•  Nonstick vegetable oil spray
•  ½ cup powdered sugar, divided, plus more for dusting
• ½ ounce unflavored powdered gelatin
• 2 large egg whites
• 2 cups sugar
• ¼ teaspoon rose water or orange-flower water
• 1 drop red or orange food coloring (optional)

At first, everything was coming along swimmingly. I pre-measured my various sugars. I prepped the gelatin. I whipped the egg whites. My first hiccup was at Step 2. 

“Bring sugar and ½ cup water to a boil over medium-high heat, stirring to dissolve sugar and brushing down sides with a wet pastry brush. Boil sugar mixture, without stirring, until thermometer registers 250°, 8–10 minutes.”

Well, all right then. I can do that. But let’s remember that there are in fact two sugars in this recipe. Powdered, and granular. Not one sugar, TWO sugars. (Sorry, that was a bit of a Canadiana joke.) I was puzzled. Do they mean put both in the pot with the water? I decided they must. So I dumped both sugars in and moved on. I also made a mental note to contact Bon Appetit and chide them for their lack of clarity by recipe creators.

Now, I’m feeling like a bit of a scientist. I’ve got thermometers in pots, I’m measuring carefully, and I’m noting my progress. I was secretly laughing at my Grade 11 Chemistry teacher, who clearly just could not see my raw talent for chemistry when he gave me that final 65%. How could I be expected to succeed with 20-year-old Bunsen burners and a lackluster lab partner? Impossible.  

So I reach the 250° mark, and stir in the gelatin. I review the recipe again, and this time read the final sentence, “Dust tops of marshmallow with remaining ¼ cup powdered sugar. Turn out of pan and cut into 1” pieces; dust with more powdered sugar.” Oh. Oh dear. Ermmm… would that be that ¼ cup of sugar I dumped in the pot? Right. So, in retrospect, maybe that was clear.

“Well,” I thought to myself, “Too late now. Onwards.” What’s the worst that can happen, right? Maybe they’ll just taste extra sweet. So I move forward with the recipe, but you, beloved reader, are thinking to yourself right now, “But NO, Bailey! This is CHEMISTRY. You have to do it PROPERLY.”

And you would be right. But, at that moment, I was more preoccupied with EVERYTHING being sticky. Everything. My countertops are sticky.  My mixer is sticky. My steering wheel is sticky. Everything. This is now causing me to get a bit of a tension knot in my shoulder and I’m feeling pissed off with the whole project now.

I then move to the final steps. Beat the sugar/gelatin/egg mixture until it triples in volume. I was concerned when this volume increase never happened, but the real dread set in when I went to wash the (brand new) candy thermometer, which had a sticker that read, “Remove before use”. (Whoops- it has since been removed, after first use).

Now, they cool for four hours, or overnight. I obviously could not possibly wait for an overnight, so four hours go by, and in no way do they resemble anything mallow-like. The texture is beyond sticky. When I try to get it out of the pan, the bottom reveals a clear, pink, raw-chicken resembling semi-solid.

It becomes clear to me that I was indeed lucky to be granted that 65% by Mr. Hamilton. I also realize I’ve become the #nailedit meme. And maybe, on a snowy, chilly, winter’s afternoon in February, enough cabin-fevered boredom will set in that I will attempt this again. But for now, I’ll stick to my fly-by-night pasta sauces.

My Milkshake Brings All the Boys to the Yard

My Instagram feed has recently been flooded with images of smoothies. The captions usually read something like, “My morning kombucha-matcha-chia-banana kick! #Instasmootie #Yum #CleanEating #HealthyLiving #ImSoFuckingSuperior #InstaImBetterThanYou” and the picture is of some mottled slop in a mason jar (always in a mason jar), somewhere in the colour range of Lake Ontario and the Crypt Keeper’s skin tone.

Now, I hold nothing against those who drink smoothies. You are only annoying at the second tier of Instagramming. Usually, these same people also have one of two versions of the same photo: The Fitness Pose- Yogis vs. Crossfitters style. They’re either doing Crow Pose at the top of some Costa Rican mountain with a sunset (or actually, probably sunrise) in the background, or they’ve posted videos of themselves swinging 40 pound kettleballs over their face, which has an inherent spoiler alert in that if they dropped said kettleball on their face, they probably wouldn’t post the video. (Well actually, maybe they would.) Either way, they probably both have a Pin somewhere that reads, “Strong is the new skinny.”

You know what? Good for those people. They obviously beat me in all sorts of character measures, such as drive, self-control, self-motivation, and ability to commit to even one thing in life. And really, who am I to judge? I went through a bit of a fitness phase. I smoothied. Sometimes I still do. The sad difference with me is that I choke my smoothie back thinking “I wish this was a bagel with cream cheese SO BADLY.” And I expect to lose at least one dress size after two days of smoothies for breakfast in a row, because yet another one of my character flaws is the expectation of instant gratification. Ultimately, I’m back to my Diet Coke and bagel for breakfast, the aspartame flooding my brain with happy feelings.

So you know what I think is the new skinny? Living your goddamn life. And in the summer, you know what you really want to do is drink a milkshake! And as much as I love the McDonald’s Dollar Drink days for my Diet Coke fix, the syrupy and possibly chemically-altered milkshake of your youth will just not cut it, now that we are GROWNUPS. So here is a nice little grownup milkshake recipe.

Lavender Rosewater Milkshake

• Two Four scoops of great ice cream (I’m a classic vanilla girl myself- don’t read too much into that- but you can get creative if you wish)
• Somewhere around a cup of really great milk (Not skim, don’t be an asshole)
• Little shake of lavender, plus a little more for garnish
• Splash of rosewater

Blend all your ingredients in a blender or with an immersion blender (for those of you that haven’t used that Magic Bullet since you ordered it, plus The Insanity Fitness System-“I WILL be strong and skinny!!”- in that moment of self-loathing on your couch at 2 am, now would be the good time to haul it out). Top with a little dash of lavender. Serve very chilly. Dance to a little Kelis. And don’t forget to Instagram the shit out of it- #YouKnowYouWantIt #InstaYum #YOLO #HYFR

Scones with Strawberry Jam and Cream

Did I ever mention that The LadyGirls and I have a Fairy Godmother? Well we do. Her name is Sarah and even just her name is lovely. She is beautiful and kind and classy and brilliant. And she is hipper than anybody I've ever met. Sarah is one of those rare people you meet in your life that actually wishes you well and wants you to succeed. And we have enjoyed many successes thanks to  her help and support. And just because she's so sweet and generous, I came home to a lovely jar of her homemade strawberry jam last weekend. We've been trying to get her to come on here and guest blog for us, and I only hope she'll share that jam recipe with us because I've never tasted better.

Now it's no secret that I don't bake. But just this once I decided to give it a go because I wanted to pay my respect to that beautiful jam. And to Sarah. So right now, the kitchen looks like it got hit by a bomb and the cold, nervous sweat is just now subsiding from the trauma of it all. And since I don't know anything about baking, I pulled a recipe off the internet called "Simple Scones." And for the cream, I pulled off a recipe that was called "Easy Mock Devonshire Cream." Usually I pass those over when it comes to cooking, but for baking, not so much! Oh for God sake, I just went to see who the author of the scones recipe is, and it's Pam Anderson. I can't believe that she bakes scones and yet I found them to be immensely challenging. Maybe it's a different Pam Anderson than who I'm thinking of.

You'll need:
2 cups of all purpose flour
1/3 cup of sugar
1 teaspoon of baking powder
1/4 teaspoon of baking soda
1/2 teaspoon of salt
8 tablespoons of frozen unsalted butter
1/2 cup of sour cream
1 large egg.
This recipe also called for 1/2 cup of raisins, but blech. That would ruin it I think.
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees and put your rack to the middle position
Mix all the dry ingredients. Beat the egg and sour cream in a separate bowl until smooth.
Using the large holes on your box grater, grate the butter and add to the dry ingredients.
Work it in with your fingers until it resembles course meal. (whatever that means. I just worked it till it got on my nerves) and then add your wet bowl and stir with a fork. Work it all together until you can form a ball with it. (I added a few drops of water because it seemed to dry)
Lightly flour a surface and roll it out in a circle until it's about 3/4 inch thick. Cut it into 8 triangles. I just used a pizza cutter and place them on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. Bake for about 17 - 18 minutes.

While they're baking, make your cream.
1 package of softened cream cheese
1 cup of sour cream
3 tablespoons of confectioner's sugar
1 cup of heavy whipping cream

Beat the cream cheese until soft and add the sugar and sour cream and beat that for a minute or two and add the whipping cream. Once it's mixed in, turn your beater to high speed and continue beating until it's stiff. Put it in the fridge.

Once the scones have cooled, slice in half and put tons of this yummy cream on and a dollop of jam or preserves. So decadently delicious! I should bake more often. Thanks for the jam Sarah, and thanks for your friendship! xoxo

Red Velvet Cake (Special Guest Blogger!)

I'm a new member of the blog, Diane's sister. I only rear my head now because I don't cook, at least nothing more then what a box of Shake 'N Bake offers or Hamburger Helper. But God love my family and my husband of 28 years, they never complain, they are happy to have a meal in front of them. 

I also don't bake; I find it more hateful than cooking. The whole general idea of the kitchen and everything in is not something that interests me. However this one night, this one crazy night, I was reading a People magazine and I saw a Cake Boss recipe for a red velvet cake.... from scratch. I'm not even sure why I lingered on the page; normally I would have flipped it in disgust because why would I ever bake a cake, especially from scratch? I think the fact that it was a "red velvet" cake caught my eye. They seem to be really in style and sexy these days and since I like to stay hip and cool, I lingered. And then I thought, "Why Joanne, WHY can't you attempt something like this?"

And the non-baker in me responded, "I'll tell you why you silly bi-atch, because you don't own a mixer, cake pans or one single ingredient required for the mix". I wasn't going to be deterred. I tore the page from the magazine and threw it to the floor, determined it would happen. And then it became Bailey's birthday a few weeks later and I had to commit. And so I forged ahead to the grocery store with my list in hand. Visiting the baking aisle of the grocery store was like Jacques Cousteau visiting uncharted waters in the South Pacific. It was foreign and it was scary. I caught a premix for a red velvet cake out of the corner of my eye and I reached for it and stopped myself. NO, I was going to do this... and guess what, it turned out magnificent!! And P.S.- I borrowed my mother's cake pans and mixer but have since bought my own. So here's what you need.

1 1/4 c vegetable shortening

2 c sugar (it says additional for parchment, but I did not get parchment, I had to draw the line)

1 tbsp unsweetened Dutch-process cocoa powder (I used no name, it was fine)

4 1/2 tsp red gel food colour (I could not find the gel, I used liquid)

3 c cake flour

1 1/4 tsp fine sea salt (not sure why sea salt, but I didn't question the boss)

1 1/4 tsp baking soda

1 1/4 tsp pure vanilla extract

1 1/4 tsp white vinegar

3 extra large eggs

1 1/4 c buttermilk

Your favourite cream cheese frosting (I used Betty Crocker and thanked the Cake Boss I didn't have to make the icing from scratch too!)

1. Position rack in center of oven and preheat to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour 2 (9x2 in) round cake pans and set aside.

2. Beat shortening and next 8 ingredients in a large bowl (make sure it's LARGE!) with electric mixer on low speed until blended and then on medium-low for 1 min. Add eggs individually, beating one minute after each egg. (Prepare for the mix to fly all over the kitchen as mine did... it gets better when the buttermilk goes in)

Add the buttermilk in 2 portions, beating just until blended.

3. Divide batter between prepared pans. Bake 35 to 40 minutes or until cake begins to pull away from the sides.

4. Cool cakes on a wire rack for an hour... and this is where it says to put them on parchment paper, which I did not do, I threw them on a plate and iced it up!! If I could do this at the age of 50 with no baking experience, anyone can. So give it a try!!!